At least...

[lady_schrapnell]

I feel like crap,  I have accomplished so little that they could be classed as negative accomplishments, but I can solemnly promise that I will never, ever cause any of you to fume in the way that Geri Halliwell did Younger Daughter and me the other night.*

We'd watched an excellent Have I Got News for You with Bill Bailey (we love Bill Bailey!), and were all cheerful, when Y.D. switched and happened upon one of the Irish chat shows (can't remember which).  She barely had time to say, "Oh, that's Geri Halliewell - what's she doing here?" when Geri had launched into an answer about why she'd felt the need to write her children's book (I'm totally not linking that, as nobody needs the link!).  And of course, of course, she had to say that Spice Girls had been all about the girl power (I'm sorry, but the idea of the Spice Girls and girl power makes me nauseated already) and there were no strong female characters in books for young children, so she had to write one herself.

Some day, some celebrity is just going to say that he or she thought it would be fun and relatively easy to write a book for kids BEFORE TRYING, and now he or she realises how very wrong he or she had been ---  and members of BACA around the world may get collective concussion from falling off computer chairs in shocked delight. 

As I'm not holding my breath for that day, I'll offer a little anecdote of what it can be like living with the other kind of writer.

I'd just told Becca I was heading down to the village.

Becca: Can you tell me a way someone could be killed in  a car?

Me: Uh...

Becca: I've already got cardiac arrest, stroke, drunk driver, drive-by shooting [few others I can't remember]

Me: Falling asleep at the wheel?

Becca: No.  Doesn't matter how silly it is.

Me: Zombies?

Becca: Not that silly

Me: An aneurysm?

Becca: I'd rather not something else medical.

Me: Tree falling across the road?

Becca: Ooh, I like that.

Me: Like from a hurricane or severe sto..

Becca:  A hurricane.  I really like that.

Me: Course, a hurricane wouldn't be that unexpected, but a storm --

Becca: [No longer paying attention]

Me: [Proceeds to village, rather than proceeding to tell the story of the tree that was blown across the driveway just after my mother and father had pulled in a few feet farther]

The rest of the evening, Becca kept looking up from her laptop and saying happily "I'm write a story about death". 

She very often is writing a story about death, so Y.D. and I perhaps didn't respond with sufficient amazement.

* Yes, it is an easy promise to make as I'm neither an aspiring writer nor a celebrity who'd be offered a book contract on the basis of my name alone, but there's no need to be picky.

Comments

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

My theory, after having looked at some of the predictable, obvious tripe celebs churn out, is that indeed, very first day, they discovered how hard it was, so they sent a little minion out to get a ghost writer who did the actual work--all to their tasteless and stupid specs. And the editors, figuring people will buy anything if a famous name is on it, holds their nose and publishes it, sight unseen.

[lady-schrapnell.livejournal.com]

Yes, I think this is definitely the case all too often. And of course the celebs who make infuriating statements like this aren't readers, which makes it far easier for them to judge what they've produced (so to speak) as an amazing and unique contribution to the world of books ...

Oh, that made me think with delight of A.A. Milne's Once on a Time and the Countess Belvane judging the poetry contest - which she always wins. Must see if I can find my copy.

[vcmw]

I love that book! You are the first other person I've ever met [heard of] who's read it though. And then she makes that poor girl march around and around the tree to be her troops.

*happy sigh* Unfortunately I think my copy got lost in a move.

[vcmw]

I should explain - happy sigh because of thinking of the book
not a happy sigh because of it being lost.

[lady-schrapnell.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's a favourite of ours! Our dog Bell is actually (the Countess) Belvane, in fact. It was a toss-up between Belvane and Cyril from To Say Nothing of the Dog but once we saw her, she was pretty clearly a Belvane (not just because she's a bitch). We're always telling people about it, and very rarely meeting people who know it already.

I understood your happy sigh completely and am very annoyed I couldn't find our copy when I went looking last night, and again just now. Now I really want to quote that bit! Not in the local library system either. Promise I won't fight you for the 1917 hardcover available on Amazon Marketplace though. ;)

[gair.livejournal.com]

Oh! I'll make sure gerald saves the little 'diary of a celebrity' Geri-Halliwell parody from the other week's Guardian, which will cheer you up, I think. Was excellent.

Sorry that you feel like crap. I have a cold, so sympathize extra hard.

[lady-schrapnell.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes please - thanks! Hope you feel better soon!